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I couldn't help but publish this email from Chris S.

to all canadians:this is halarious!!! to everone else: this is educational ;) love from cris > > Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter >Olympics these are some questions people the world over are >asking!!!! > Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an >International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!) > The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked. > >Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK) >A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch >them die. > >Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) >A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. > >Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the railroad >Tracks? (Sweden) >A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. > >Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) >A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. > >Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to >contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) >A: Let's not touch this one. > >Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of >them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) >A: What did your last slave die of? > >Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA) >A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da >is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing >is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. > >Q: Which direction is North in Canada?(USA) >A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and >we'll send the rest of the directions. > >Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) >A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. > >Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) >A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which >is ...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday >night In Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come >naked. > >Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) >A: No, WE don't stink. > >Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you >tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) >A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. > >Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female >population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) >A: Yes, gay nightclubs. > >Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) >A: Only at Thanksgiving. > >Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? >(Germany) >A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is >illegal. > >Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its >name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) >A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains >of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying >yourself with human urine before you go out walking. > >Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated >while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) >A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by >the hour. >Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA) >A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. >

posted by Benjamin @ 30.8.05